so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
