Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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