This is not my ceiling
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize