Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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