Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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