I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
