It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
