found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
