I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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