Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Are we still banned from the library?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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