Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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