I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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