I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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