theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
