Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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