and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
