Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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