Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize