so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
