Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm like, not good at living.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
