he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize