She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
