Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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