Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
