But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
