I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
