We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
