oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
and she was petting her beer can
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize