Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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