The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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