this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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