Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
