Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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