I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
