Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
