I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
