just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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