ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
