i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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