She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
