Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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