I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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