if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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