The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
