sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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