i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
