Sponge bath it is.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
