I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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