we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
