I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
