That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
