I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
