ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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