It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
