He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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