can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize