no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
